Griffin

Griffins are shapeshifters gone awry that live in the mythicals. They are about one Big Ben after meeting Osama tall and four drunk NBA players passed out on the bar floor long. It is very difficult to domesticate griffins given pet stores do not have leashes that can sustain the glorious neck of the mighty griffin. They have wings, but cannot be purchased in Buffalo Wild form. They have four multicultural feets that they use to stand strong on mountain tops, to perch on bell towers, and to crush the skulls of their mortal enemies. However, the perching on bell towers ability is quite frightening to the Gargoyle community. On August 14th of 2012, the Gargoyle Grand Council arranged a meeting with the Gargoyle Defence Coalition (GDC) and the UNG. They discovered that the griffins were taking all of the perching on bell towers jobs from hard-working gargoyles. The United Nations of Gargoyles (UNC) decided that they needed to address this issue to the Queen, so they took a trolley to Gargoyle England, and alerted Queen Garg XVII of the issue. When the Queen learned this tragic news, she called the Griffin Headquarters in Area Grifty-One and asked for President Grifbama. The president was understanding of these issues the gargoyle people faced, but decided that stealing these jobs was necessary to keep the Griffin universe strong. The gargoyles, being a pacifist race, stepped down, and let their community crumble and wither to irrecoverable shambles. Griffins have a thick lion booty that makes the female griffins want to get swiggity-swooty with them. Females also have said rock-hard swiggity-swooty booty that make male griffins want to write explicit rap songs about the various rubbings, slappings and vigorous penetrations they wish to execute on these lady swiggity-swooty booties.

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