Vultures are anti-eagles that fly over creatures that are Batman’s parents status. They feast on the carcasses of the once-alives and let other vultures aware of dinnertime with their aerial love circle dinner bell-esque demeanor. They have chicken heads and eagle bodies, much like George Washington rule #34 on beastiality fan-art websites. They are more gray than any of the fifty shades, and they are way more fly. Vultures live in deserts and Texas, because lots of animals and people die from hunger, dehydration, sand poisoning, crushed by sand, lungs pierced by broken glass hidden in sand food, desert storms, sand overdose and the sandy like. Many people who die in the desert write letters behind for family or significant others, but when they are recovered, they are written in comic sands. Angered by the pun-i-tude of the font, the receivers of said notes take their own lives through ritual sacrifice, seppuku or any other resourceful and/or profitable death. Those deaths make vultures hunger-horny, beginning the circling process to alert nearby vultures. Vultures are smart, given that they have signs in America that read “Get a free hamburger when you cross the desert on foot” all over the dang place, which fools those silly Americans. How naive can they be? Everyone knows vultures don’t ever cook meat! Many died in 2001 when 911 vultures overate in New York City, due to the number of human casualties that year. Other more common forms of vulture death are gunshot, poisonous air, nuclear devastation, solar flares, being launched into space for science, cult sacrifice and the gratuitous like.


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