Ghosts

Ghosts are the main cause of childhood trouser soakings, right next to post-death bowel evacuation. Ghosts are transparent and float about haunting wrongdoers. They typically haunt thou who have ended the lives of their living vessels to the point of insanity or self destruction. Ghosts weigh about one oxygen. They cannot be touched due to their transparency, which is an issue for the Ghost Pedophile Community. To become a ghost, one must pull a classic Amy Winehouse and dying. Once dead, your ghosty goo slowly rises like a boy’s genital tube rises when he sees a pretty girl in class. People from around olde America decided to create an alliance that lets humans be ghosts without kicking the bucket, which was beneficial for the Bucket Feelings Committee. The ghosts decided to burn and slaughter African Americans and people of other dark skin tone races to make them into ghosts. This group was later dubbed as the Ku Klux Klan in 1921. The clan’s name made as much sense as George Washington skyping a dinosaur, which makes no sense because dinosaurs couldn’t accept Skype calls because their hands were too big.  The Klan was harshly ridiculed by society, and they felt like they were being attacked for being white. Due to these horrid hate crimes against the KKK, they decided to abandon the Klan, and rebrand in Saudi Arabia. In time, after Hitler committed bullet seppuku and Osama was treated like Batman’s parents, they rose from the sand dunes and became ISIS. ISIS invented Outlast the game, due to their shared hatred in American journalists.

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