Anubis

Anubises are Egyptian cat skeletons that carry pharos to their graves. Anubises were slaves to the African-American Egyptians, ironically. They are inhuman slaves, which means no Martin Luther King is gonna get a hairball over all of this free labor. They have built Pyramids and Illuminati Headquarters.. I MEAN.. Pyramids and full-biscotti headdresses. The pyramids they built were used to show the world that Egyptian pride is bigger than any other, and to boast the harsh disregard for labor laws. Anubises eat sand and pharaoh’s souls, according to a former pharaoh and former alive person, Menkheperre. Anubises cannot play competitive online games, given they have nub (noob) in their name. The anubis kind is more dead than Reagan’s hatred for marijuana and Reagan. Anubises are extinct, like virgins on 82nd street, but their spirits live in the pyramids they’ve built. After an Anubis died, they were never wriggity-wriggity wrapped, son, like the spoiled humans were. They were flushed down immensely large toilets built to shame them after death. According to Egyptian hieroglyphics, the graffiti of the ancient worlds, Anubis means “inhuman peasant” which would later become Africa’s word for “fake Africans”, according to modern hieroglyphics, which nowadays is called “hate mail” or “racist facebook comments”.

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