Frog

Frogs are sentient beings made out pf ectoplasm. Frogs croak. However, in this case, they don’t roll over into a casket. Frogs croaking is as unnecessary as John McCain’s breast implants. Croaking is a sound decible emitted by frogs to let predators know theres wet caviar in the area. Though frogs taste like a used 82nd Street Reproduction protection sleeve run over by an ISIS Toyota, predators avoid eating them unless there’s nothing else to eat. Frogs weigh about one cup of Jell-o and are one adult fist big. There are many types of frogs; poison and hairy. When hairy frogs go to Rite Aid to buy a razor with the money from the steel mill and drive home, they cannot shave because it’s obvious that frogs cannot lift things. Duh, how could they pick things up with their ameoba-sized fingers? Poison frogs taste like sushi that went through the washing machine, and like poison. Many reports of its taste have come from people that immediately afterward learned the frog they bit into was filled with dust.  Frogs are used to be made fun of by comedians like Louis C.K., Tig Nutaro, Eugene Mirman, and the like. Frogs were dinosaur warts that lster evolved into sentient beings. That’s why the prehistoric expression “it stung like popping a frog” was so popular on Twitter. Witches use their eyes to cook curses that they use to curse ogres or make princesses latr for the ball and whatnot. Many people grow frogs in their throat by crying, which is where the Shakespearean expression “frog in one’s throat” came from.  However, once the human ceases crying about what I assume would be either an episode of the Walking Dead or the death of a Kardashian, the frog dissolves into the bowels of the person.

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