Call of Duty Gaming Community

There are many types of game-enveloped individuals; the Calm and enjoyable Pokemon community, the fun-loving, creative Dark Souls community, the satanic, incomprehensible Super Monkey Ball community. But there is one franchise of gaming that has birthed a swollen spawn from the earthy uterus of broken humanity. The Call of Duty gaming community. This community has less tolerance to failure than Robin when attempting to catch Slade in the cult classic comedy drama, Teen Titans. They age between 2-12 years old, and constantly attack the hardworking American mothers with inaccurate comparisons to weight or attractiveness to those of vehicles or farm animals. They also claim to engage in the colliding of organs with said players’ mothers. Many of the smarter Call of Duty players have learned to psychologically retaliate against these tweenage snot slobs. This technique is known as “Trolling”. The art of trolling comes in many fashions, but none are as powerful and affecting as the Humiliation Factor. K→P=H, where K = knife, P = player, and H = Humiliation. The humiliation factor is only deployed in a gamemode known as Gun Game. When the player (P) is thrusted by their stabamajiger (K), they get their rank demoted, and look like an inexperienced player by the end of the game (H). Looking like a bad player, or a n00b, is a mortal sin to the Call of Duty community, and interferes with the well-being of the players in-game. However, the plus side of the Humiliation Factor comes in two formats; the Ragequit Conclusion or the H8r (Hater) Requisition. The Ragequit Conclusion is an effect on players that have enough salt to coat all the french fries across the planet. They become so filled with this anger-inducing grain that they leave the game lobby. The H8r Requisition comes in two forms; The HateMail Conspire and the Blame Game. The HateMail Conspire is the urge to send hateful messages to those superior to them, due to a lack of self-control or maintainable ego. These messages include threats of abuse or murder, taunts about the size or the player’s mother, or a jab at the player’s sexual orientation. The BlameGame, the most common side effect to losing, is the losing player that cannot kill opponents blames the game itself for the player’s consistent failure. These “faults” of the game include overpowered weapons, assuming the enemy player has no life, and doesn’t go outside, and the almighty lag. Many players that enjoy the Call of Duty franchise suffer from these effects every day, but medicine has no cure for salt, or for being bad. Mic drop.


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